Bye Cherubs

After many sleepless nights of painstaking contemplation & deliberation …I’ve finally decided that it’s time to say goodbye. Good bye to my old template and to my beloved cherubs. It’s just that the Gothic template has limited options. You can only change the header image and not the watermark or whatever it’s called. Truth is I don’t understand the latin or greek words chuvanels written on the template also. Anyways, I found it really hard to choose the right blog template that would reflect “me” and as I believe..my uniquity.I wanted to achieve the witty-bitchy-sensitive-romantic-funky yet refreshing look So I decided to use the Muse template and ended up with this floral blog…a far cry from my target :-D But anyways I guess it’s not the template but it’s the thought that counts right?

Back to the cherubs, fyi lang they’re painted by Raffaello Sanzi or Santi or Raphael for short one of the ninja turtles as part of the Sistine Chapel mural way back in the 1500’s. I find this painting more mysterious than the Monalisa. They’re way cuter than her too. I really love these guys that I had a t-shirt customized with their prints, a poster at my room and other cutie stuffs of them.
 

So bye cherubs for now…i’ll find a way to fit you in guys in this template somehow.

Chris Rocks!

I’m an avid fan of American Idol. Its season 5 and they’re down to top 10 now. I like the variety of genre and talents that the group has now. A lot of interesting characters like Taylor Hicks whom my friends and I call “tatay” coz of the gray hair. There’s also Kellie Pickler…sort of dumb blonde…dunno if she’s really one or it’s just an act but I love the songs she picks. There’s also Buck…a cowboy fresh from the Brokeback Mountain.There’s the-oh-so-lovely Katharine McPhee whom Ryan Seacrest is obviously crushing on.There are also a lot of young people on the group like Paris & Lisa who’re so talented at such a young age. And there’s Mandisa who kinda reminds me of our very own Frenchie Dy.But among them all Chris Daughtry stands out for me. Maybe because he’s a rocker or that I see Constantine Maroulis in him…(sigh!still can’t get over Constantine). But undoubtedly he has stage presence and no matter what the theme or song is he has a way of making it into his own. He has a good voice and as Randy puts it “a hot one from the dog pound!”. My second choice is Elliot Yamin…love his voice but not his choice of songs.. and poor stage presence. My third choice is Ace Young…well because he’s cute and can melt you with that stare and has a good voice too…nice falsetto and have I mentioned that he’s cute?

I’m rooting for the guys coz I wanted to see a guy win this time and hopefully it would be Chris…am keeping my fingers crossed.

Dirty Little Secret

Let me know that I’ve done wrong
When I’ve known this all along
Go around a time or two
Just to waste my time with you

Tell me all that you’ve thrown away
Find out games you don’t wanna play
You are the only one that needs to know

I’ll Keep you my dirty little secret
(Dirty little secret)
Don’t tell anyone or you’ll be just another regret
(Just another regret, hope that you can keep it)
My dirty little secret
Who has to know

8:00am …

This was the last song I heard on the radio this morning while I was riding a jeep to work. Another LSS(Last Song Syndrome)phenomenon. It’s Dirty little secret by the All American Rejects.Cool song actually.

5 Hours later… I’ve just finished my lunch but I still keep on singing the song in my head and out loud. I can’t get it off my mind just as I can’t keep you out of my mind. The songs remind me so much of you. . .my very own dirty little secret. Damn that song! It’s ruining my lunchbreak nap…I’m tripping down memory lane now.

  (more…)

So many boys,too little time!

Around 4pm last sat my friend Erwin sent a ym message,”Inom ta flo!” I replied “I’ll text you later coz I have to check with Rica”

Before I logged out, my friend Rodolfo sent a ym message too “Wala ka bang gimik maya? Labas tayo” I gave him the same reply I gave Erwin.

Rica is my friend.Erwin and Rodolfo are my friends too. Rica is female.Erwin and Rodolfo are males. I am a female w/ many guy friends. I’m comfortable going out with guy friends but I wanted to bring along Rica just for back up(para naay GRO hehehe). Anywayz, after my weekend “shrink session” with my friend Ruby was cancelled I opted to meet up w/ the boys with or without Rica…well what the heck!

***

So at about 10:30 pm I’m still finishing my 1^st bottle of San Mig Light which I was consuming since 9:00pm…the ice has already melted..twas beginning to taste like water. I’m trying to lay low on the beer for fear of looking like a pregnant woman…no need to elaborate. The guys are there Erwin,Rodolfo and Popoy(whom I texted because he owe me a beer!). We hanged out at Rizal Prom but twas getting hot and my voice was getting hoarse from competing with all that noise so we decided to transfer to another place. My grand plan was this, I’ll bring them to a Videoke place and I’ll provide the music while they take care of the beer and the talk. I’m not yet giving up on my singing career…amen! Unfortunately, there was no available room so we went to a café instead.

While I was drinking my 2^nd beer for the night and while we were having this “enlightening” conversation about clitoris and sili I received a text message from George “Karl’s mi ni Neil.Apas!” After 30 minutes I was at Karl’s Koffee where an unnerving experience happened(i’m currently collecting my thoughts to write a blog about this). (more…)

Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening

WHOSE woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.
My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.
He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound’s the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.
The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

I just find this poem from Robert Frost so poignant. I can’t exactly explain why.I can so totally relate with the horse’s confusion! hehehe Kidding aside, I sense longing,weariness,nature’s beauty,serenity, hope and dream in this poem.

My 5 dream jobs

Here are my 5 dream jobs and my pre-conceived and somewhat twisted notion about them and

what’s stopping me from having these jobs. If I could trade my present job for any of these,

I wouldn’t waste a single second.
 
1. Singer:Every time I watch live bands perform I can’t help but ogle over

the female vocalist. No I don’t wanna sleep w/ them!:-P I’m not attracted to

them…I want to be like them. It just seems so glamorous, you get to dress up,

sing the songs you like and people pay you for it. You can groove to the music and not care if

anybody else is dancing. I love singing. I can sing…but not beautifully. Sigh! But I can score

100 in videoke machines I even get applauded when I sing Why by Avril Lavigne…but maybe

because they wanted me to shut up.Sigh!

2.Flight Stewardess:Places. Exotic food. Beaches. Bods. That’s what life should be made of!

What a dream come true to be able to travel around the country…around the world…with all

expenses paid. I’m just 4 inches away from this job. 4 inches of height that is! Plus that

pleasant personality thingy. Okay I better stop before I berate myself any further.

3.School Librarian
Wouldn’t it be lovely to freeze a person with just a stare? Have permission to say sssshhhh!

 shut up! silence please! anytime you please or  just for the heck of it. Confiscate foods

and eat them yourself. Order any books you like…imagine a school library w/ 99% fiction!

Spend whole day reading and dewey decimaling the books. I have a friend who’s an HR in a school

and she told me they have an opening for a librarian. I told her I’m interested but to my

dismay I found out that you need to have a degree in library or something and pass some

board exam. Fine! 

4.Disc Jockey of NU 107
To play alternative & rock music whole day…talk about anything you

want and actually have people listen…interview musicians (Hi Bamboo!)

and get paid for it. Another wow! Well let’s see why this can’t be my reality. . .

NU 107 is manila based a 1 hour & 45 minutes plan ride away. I could settle for local

radio stations right? Energy FM…Love radio…Naaah!
 

5. Writer/Poet

Imagine…Lying on a hammock …on a deck overlooking a lake w/ a notebook on hand and words

incessantly flowing in your head. Creating a different world at the tip your fingers…

a world of snitches…orcs..of magic and mystery…of rhyme and reason. To be inspired like

that . . .Wow! I guess I’ll have to settle w/ blogging for now.

Stay gone

Hey you! Yes you! You know who you are. Don’t add being dumb to your list of offenses. Anyways…just wanna speak my mind out.

I can’t forget what happened. I can’t pretend it didn’t happen. I don’t know if I wanted it to start in the first place but no more excuses now. We can’t undo the past…it happened! I was angry at you…furious actually but more at myself for being vulnerable to your charms. I don’t know if we can still be friends…we have nothing in common in the first place except for that “thing” that got hold of us. I don’t wanna call it love. I have so much respect for love to call what happened love. All I want though is for us to respect each other’s space. Stop the hurting and the blaming. We’re both to blame…we didn’t do it right or it wasn’t just meant to be. I’m trying to move on now but I got to admit that it’s not that easy. I can’t escape the memories. It wasn’t all that bad…there were some worth remembering. I know in a while I’ll forget you but I also know that all around me are things that can trigger memories of you. ..the places we used to go…the songs we used to sing…anything. Despite everything that happened…you became a part of my life. I believe everything happens for a reason but till now I’m trying to contemplate what I’m supposed to learn from you…maybe nothing!? I just don’t know what right now.

So what’s the point of all this? I just wanna get this message through somehow. I hate begging but this time I will…won’t you please stay? Please stay…Stay gone! I’m happy where I am right now so stay where you are. Sweet serenity has finally come my way.

changes

 Life is a series of constant change. The flower blooms. The tide ebbs. The sun sets. People walk in and out of our lives. People change. Things are never the same. I find much difficulty in dealing with these changes. I’m too sentimental for my own good. I like to keep remembrances of the past. The first card I got from my best friend. The first rose I received from a boy. And the list goes on and on (and my room looks like an old attic…smells like one too haha!). It really breaks my heart to watch people close to me walk out and disappear from my life. That’s why I really felt blessed when an old friend way back in high school whom I’ve lost touch contacted me again. He contacted me through friendster (thanks friendster…I owe you one). We met recently and the talked flowed like the beer we consumed. It’s funny to remember the past…the high school years…the classmates and the teachers. It’s funny & enlightening to remember who I used to be. I can’t believe that I used to be a bully hehehe Anyways, after that meeting I got to thinking…changing is not synonymous with losing. In a way i never changed.Yup I grew up but that person who I used to be is still very much alive in me. The years just add up. You don’t lose any in exchange for a new one. It’s like a tree with a new layer of ring each year. I’m still the spoiled 3 year old, the 14 year old rebel, the not so sweet 16 and the currently-experiencing-quarter-age-crisis 26 year old. All these persons are alive in each and every one of us. It only takes an old song, a forgotten smile, a smell, a touch, a place to wake up the persons alive in us. It’s really refreshing to realize this coz lately I felt lost within me. I felt like I don’t know myself anymore. That somehow I’ve lost the real essence of me. Thank you mat for letting me realize that I’m still the person I used to be albeit I’m wearing a different guise now.

10 ways to get over your ex

1.Feel it
Tis’ a sad fact that breakups hurt. Feelings don’t just die. It’s not a switch (though sometimes I wish it were) that you can just turn off and on. So if you’re feeling sad, depressed, used, furious…feel it…cry it out …cuss it out and once you’ve finished…let it go.
2.Talk about it
Go to your best friend and talk about what happened ideally with a bottle of beer so if your friend gets bored at least she’ll find solace in that bottle of beer.
3.Accept that it’s over
Don’t hold on to the hope that someday you’ll get back again. Accept that it’s over for good.
4.Think of the negative side of the relationship
People tend to romanticize the past. Don’t! Think of the times that he hurt you and treated you like sh*t.
5.Go out and have fun!
Do the things that you were not able to enjoy when you were still part of a relationship. You might not be ready for a new relationship but it shouldn’t stop you from going out on dates. Check out the other singles. Expand your horizon and meet new friends. Enjoy singlehood!
6.Adopt a new hobby or revive old ones
Dust off that stamp album. Shine that coins that your uncle gave you. Finish that 10 year old cross stitch. But I highly recommend blogging hehehe
7.Don’t listen to sappy love songs
“And I’m so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done with wishing you were still here
Said I’m so sick of love songs so sad and slow
So why can’t I turn off the radio?”
So the song goes from ne-yo…well love songs can do more harm than good so turn off that damn radio!
8.Pamper yourself
Spas & massage centers are more accessible now so go visit the nearest one and relax. You owe it to yourself.
9.This too shall pass
Trust that time heals all wound. If you’re down then there’s nowhere to go but up. In times like this, say to yourself always…”this too shall pass”
10.If all else fails…get laid!

crash and burn

I can’t stop thinking. I can’t stop feeling. I can’t stop doing. I’m bound to crash & burn….I guess i already did…crashed & burned. So this is how it feels. . .lost.. confused..bruised ..abused…empty..hollow…full of pain..haunted by the past & what used to be’s.i think i like it here…no need to think…feel and do…just letting go…letting be…