Thinking out loud

April 20, 2006

 

Have you ever wondered when to stop thinking and just feel? When to stop feeling and just think? I have quite a difficulty controlling this obsessive tendency to rationalize and think over things that are happening to me. A friend once told me that I think too much and that life shouldn’t be analyzed but should be felt and lived. Wish I could do that. Wish I could turn off this constant analysis. Well you see I’m trying to uncover life’s mysteries. When my thinking faculties had developed I’ve thought of all those existential questions…Why am I here? Who am I? Where am I going? Etcetera & etcetera. I’ve talked to many people & found out that others haven’t bothered to think about those questions haunting me. I’ve read books. I had philosophy subjects at school. I’ve turned to astrology and even to the occult. There are times when I thought I’ve found some answers but then I learn something that contradicts them & I’m back to zero. From this entire search for answers, I’ve come up with the realization that nobody knows the answer. Not even Aristotle, Plato, Sun Tzu, Deepak Chopra, Jaime Licauco ,Paulo Coehlo or even Winnie the Pooh(my gurus) knows. Nobody knows. I guess that’s why people turn to religion. To avoid going insane hehehe I might be completely missing the point but that’s what this bird brain of mine concluded.

But it did worked for me…I’ve found solace in faith. And that there “is” a source of being and I chose to believe that it is God. Well that’s a gift that I’ve learned to appreciate…Choice or free will. But even if I’ve drawn out these conclusions I know that my soul searching is far from over. Anywayz, I still have my whole life to figure things out.