losing my religion

June 13, 2006

After I re-read my previous entry regarding the crossroads retreat I felt bad. Coz It dawned on me how jaded and skeptic I’ve become. I also felt weird talking about religion amidst all the cussing, bitching and the sexual innuendos. I thought of starting a new blog. Something pure and untainted. But I changed my mind coz it wouldn’t be me. It would be just one side of me. And like I’ve said in my About me portion in my side bar, I’m a million of little bits. And truth is I’m still figuring out who I really am. Sigh..one of my life’s greatest mystery.

  Now I wanna explore this struggling Catholic part of me. I realized that I made up my very own version of my Catholic faith. It seems that I dressed it up and changed it in a way that will suit me. One of the perils of Catholicism is that it is so unbound and vast. It is also very much integrated with our culture that I sometimes forget where the line is between tradition and faith. Stop. I don’t think I’m equipped to start a discourse regarding the intricacies of Catholicism so I better stop here. And everything’s debatable anyway.

  So back to my introspecting.

  I realized that being lost ain’t so bad at all.

  Coz sometimes you have to lose your faith to find it again.

  And sometimes you have to lose yourself to find out who you really are.

 

silent prayer

Lord let me love you in silence

Let my heart speak when my mouth can’t

Let its rhythm be my song

Let its beating be my dance

It’s open and empty

Please enter and fill it

It’s yours…

crossroads

I attended a Crossroads retreat last Sat-Sun sponsored by some community.Why? Because I believe I am at a crossroad in my life right now. I don’t know where I’m heading. I was hoping that the retreat would shed some light and would be a venue for some needed soul searching. (more…)