An open letter to an unfeeling brain and an unthinking heart

Dear Brain,

Hello, are you still there? Still with me? Or have you left without notice? Do you control me or do I control you? Are you moody? Or just selective like the memories you chose to keep? You keep on forgetting the formulas but not the smile on his face. You chose to overanalyze philosophy and religion and be dumb on love. Why is it that at times when I need you, you seem to desert me? I feel betrayed you know. You always let Heart win even if you know it’ll do me harm. Yeah I know I shut you off sometimes but don’t take it against me. I was too weak to resist heart. The feelings were just too strong and you gave up the fight so easily. I thought you were stronger or maybe you just don’t care about me. Are you happy with the state we’re in right now? Well I don’t that’s why I wanna hear what you’ve gotta say once and for all. I’m tired of your “I told you so’s”. So tell me, what should I do? How do I keep myself from pain? Have you finished processing the lessons we’re supposed to learn from those heartbreaks? Help me save us. Enlighten me with your wisdom. I know somewhere within.. you stored the thoughts from all the self help craps I fed you. Let’s work together to win over heart. Erase the ghost of the past, all the memories that wound my body and broke my soul. Let’s clean you up. Let’s dust off the cobwebs and allow the sunshine in again. Let’s fill you with yellow, I’m tired of jade. Let’s think of happy thoughts. I’m tired of being dismal and of this eternal gloom. Let’s do it your way. I’ll write Heart.

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of gym equipments,magic sing and the usual nonsense

Yesterday, I accompanied my friend to the gym. I was planning to have a session of kickboxing but when we got there the class was over, thus I had no choice but to join my friend in her fitness program. I never tried my luck with gym equipments before and it was kinda awkward esp. when we were the only females around. I also don’t know how to properly breathe…when to exhale & inhale. Damn but my lungs & my muscles don’t seem to coordinate. Anyways, I don’t think I’ll do it again. Besides, I can’t concentrate. I don’t know but I keep on thinking xxx thoughts as I did the routine. Maybe because of the guys “pumping” iron, the muscles..sweat…oh heck maybe it was just too long… If only i could get the expertise of the liposuction in Beverly Hills then I wouldn’t bother with the gym or any exercise anymore. (more…)

Catwoman

I saw a picture of the actress who played Catwoman and noticed that she doesn’t look her age. Of course I’m not talking about Halle Berry, I’m referring too Julie Newmar who played the original Catwoman on the original batman series. She’s 71, but does it show? Na-ah. She had undergone many facelift and maybe a New Jersey cosmetic Surgery too, am not sure about that. But all I know is that there Is no such thing as too many facelifts.

one starless night

I remember a question my friend Armie asked me before.

What my most romantic moment was.

Hers was her first kiss. This was mine:

 

It was one starless night ages ago . . .

We we’re at some birthday party. Bong wanted to walk me home. Literally walk coz our house was just a few blocks away. We started to walk and it started to drizzle. I brought out my umbrella. He held it for me and placed his other arm around my back. We didn’t talk. There was no need for words. “Let the heart speak”, I heard him mutter. Suddenly all the lights went out. There was some sort of power shortage. He tightened his grip around me. Still neither of us saying a word. We just walked. Steps slow and unsure. I was unmindful of the cold since I feel so warm and happy inside. For the first time in my life, I am in those paperback novels I was fond of reading. It seemed as if the world stopped and it was just me and him, wrapped in some safe cocoon. I felt magic. I heard bells. We just walked. Walked with young dreams and beating hearts. We walked and wished the moment would last forever. When we got home, the lights were back. I looked at him. He just smiled at me and I know at that moment that my heart was no loner mine. I just smiled back. I didn’t speak coz I was afraid that words might break the spell of that night.

 

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missing friends

Last Sunday morning, I received a text from my officemate Jen:

Good morning.Dito na ako airport.I’m badly sick till now.Masakit kasi tonsil ko.Miss you. Bye2x.”

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Ode to a Boxer

For the losses I made in favor of Larios

For the nausea I got from seeing your face almost everywhere

For the earache I got from hearing your songs

For actually finding myself humming Para Sa’yo(Last Fucking Song Syndrome)

For being popular and filthy rich

For that Jose Rizal ‘do

In the spirit of crab mentality

For lack of anything better to say

I hate you!

current state: broke

song in my head: Para Sa’yo …Aaaarrrrggggghhhh!