My short lived career as a pussycat doll

I can’t exactly remember who planted the idea in my head that I can dance. Maybe it was Manong Sonny, the owner of our carpool during elementary. He would organize parties for the neighborhood kids and I was always tasked to dance. I can’t exactly recall why I never refused. All I know is that I was never really a shy kid nor the gutsy type, maybe I just love to dance. I remember dancing electric youth, vanilla ice and other equally embarrassing 80’s dance hit. At school I was never a member of the dance troupe but I do remember a few interpretative, folk and ethnic dances as part of some subject requirement.  Then during college, I got addicted to techno dance…read as Dance Dance Revolution not at home but at arcades. Yup I got hooked to those Konami machines. I didn’t mind that I’ll lose poise or whatever respect people have for me while trying to keep in beat with those fast moving arrows. Then during work I also find myself among the dance presentors. Then last company xmas party my officemates invited me to join their group. They’ll be dancing Push the buttons, I immediately declined and said that “pang-calisthenics man na oi” and suggested something from the Pussy Cat Dolls. I was able to persuade the others and so they changed their dance to Buttons with matching chairs and all as part of the dance. We only had 3 days to practice before the party but we didn’t mind coz we convinced ourselves that we’re only doing it for fun. However when we got there we were surprised by number of people and got cold feet. But since there’s no turning back, we had no choice but to present. It was a complete disaster, we weren’t synchronized and all and I exited in the middle of the dance coz I forgot the steps. It was really embarrassing that the thought of tendering resignation or consulting some Houston Cosmetic Surgeon to alter my look so i wouldn't be recognized when i report to work crosse my mind. But kidding aside we enjoyed it anyway and i knew we were able to entertain the audience just not in the way we wanted. But in fairness, we looked the part (or feel lang namo hehehe). From that day on, I vowed never to be part of any dance presentation again. Better stick to my safe videoke-ing career

27 and counting

I don’t care much about my b-days. I mean I don’t make much fuss about it. I usually don’t give out parties (stopped doing it since I was 7 years old) but just treat my closest friends and family for dinner (so they would stop pestering me). I do expect though that people esp. my friends would remember it. I would often remind them a day or a week before my the day(I think I just contradicted my first statement) to spare them of embarrassment of failing to greet me on my bday. Last Dec 14, the first one to greet me on text at 12:01 am was my classmate/spiritual adviser Mike and the first to call me up was my bestest friend Roselle. When I arrived at the office I expected my officemates to have changed the name on our b-day banner but to my disappointment they didn’t. It still displayed Ailyn’s name who celebrated her bday last Dec.9. I looked into my work station and found no card, no balloo…zilch. When I logged in at YM, my officemate started greeting me and then I was surprised that Kuya Nat from audit gave me a single yellow rose w/ a message from Johanna. My first thought was that, “close pala kami?” Then a few minutes later another single yellow rose came my way . . .that’s when I began to smell a plot. During the course of the day, 27 guys within our office came bearing 27 roses. From my boss to my ex-crush and from total strangers.I felt like I was having a debut that day. Then at lunch my boss treated our group for lunch.And at 3:00 pm they gave me a cake and I had no choice but to treat them all for snacks LOLS My IE officemate gave me a book (Paulo Coelho’s Like the flowing river). I really felt blessed and really happy that day. Blessed to have friends like them and for this new chapter in my life and happy to know that I did something good to deserve this kind of treatment disproving my belief that I am a selfish and bitchy person.This is one birthday that i'll never forget for the rest of my life :-)

Anyways, another bday gift I received was Pastel from Jae, fresh from CDO and the migration of my old blog to the new version(naks!)but they're still tweaking things up coz some of the side bar items were messed up *hint,hint*

xmas

Christmas is always something I look forward to. When I was a kid, I would always feel a sense of elation whenever the calendar hits Ber. I know that gifts, foods, parties, family reunions are on their way. I would always feel a sense of magic as I feel the chilly arctic winds on the air, hear Christmas carols and see those sparkling lights from a distance. But what made me really look forward to Christmas was the gift from Santa Claus. My parents taught me to believe in Santa Claus and I did, hook, line and sinker. Who wouldn’t with everybody in our home corroborating? With my brothers saying that they saw huge foot prints near in the garden and our maid saying that she swept some stardust. I believed till’ I was in Grade 6 and that was when my Kuya Aldrin told me the truth out of spite. I cried when I learned the truth. Still, the next Christmas I pretended that I didn’t know, but it was never the same and I realized that I was only fooling myself so I stopped.
However, as an adult, Christmas is still something I look forward to. But when it comes, it passes like a blur. I keep looking forward to it that I sometimes don’t realize that it has already gone by. Lost in the flurry of activities… of late Christmas shoppings, organizing parties, and planning how to spend the Christmas Bonus. Still the real essence of christmas never fails to make its presence felt although oftentimes it is heavily disguised. You’ll only realize it was there from the glow you feel inside as you recall those moments. For me, it was those moments ..when I grumpily wake up early for the Simbang Gabi. when I grudgingly help my pamangkin wrap his present for their party. when i mischievously help my kuya loot some pulutan from our kitchen. when I unwillingly help my mother in her cooking… and so on and so forth. Family. Unity. Love. Faith.Hope. A sense of hope for something wonderful. A tiny star twinkling amidst the inky black sky. Something heavily anticipated. That something waiting to happen. Even if that something isn’t always what we thought it should be. And even if that something happens everyday but more noticeable during Christmas because we allow ourselves to become aware. That something mostly masked as nothing that makes not just Christmas but everyday of our lives worth looking forward to.

Sometimes we look for meaning on the grandiose that we fail to see magic staring at us from unexpected and sometimes unwanted places.

Happy Holidays Everyone

p.s. there's supposed to be some snow falling in this page…sometimes i can view it…sometimes i don't…can you see it?

Lying Is The Most Fun A Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off

Is it still me that makes you sweat?
Am I who you think about in bed?
When the lights are dim and your hands are shaking as you’re sliding off your dress?
Then think of what you did
And how I hope to God he she was worth it.
When the lights are dim and your heart is racing as your fingers touch your skin.
I’ve got more wit, a better kiss, a hotter touch, a better fuck
Than any boy girl you’ll ever meet, sweetie you had me
Girl Boy I was it, look past the sweat, a better love deserving of
Exchanging body heat in the passenger seat?
No, no, no, you know it will always just be me

by: Panic! At The Disco

shulalay mode

Is it December already? How time flies! My friend Ruby said that she noticed that time seems to have passed quicker than usual and that Somebody up there must be in a hurry. In a hurry for what? I wonder.

Anyways, I’m experiencing some kind of time crisis(not the arcade game) and not exactly like the “groundhog kind of day”.I feel like these past few weeks have been nothing but one really looooooooong day. It seemed like I’ve been doing nothing but stare at the computer screen and punch numbers and link formulas and finish this effing report for the upcoming effing banana congress. I can’t even recall what I ate for dinner or if I ate one or if I slept. Even if i’ve sleep for a few hours i still don’t feel rested when i wake up coz even during my slumber my mind still continues to function. Sometimes I figure out where i went wrong in my calculations during my sleep. I can’t even recall if i’ve gone home or the last time I had a conversation with my mom or anyone at home. I’m in a shulalay mode, as gays would term it. I have the hazy buzz of a hangover in my head but not the delightful recall of the previous night. Sigh how I wish this effing congress will be over and done with.

As to my report,it seems that i haven’t made much progress after all those changes that my boss have requested but i’m happy that i found the perfect background for the power point presentation

Anyways, I still managed to change my OST for the month. This song is a prelude to my next post . .

Will lurk your blogs soon