mea culpa

May 2, 2007

My words are not spears intended to hurt anyone. They are not swords or weapons of any kind aimed to wound. I believe that they haven’t even got the strength of needle to cause even a prick. Nor are they cupid’s arrow to claim hearts. Or enchantments to bewitch. My words are shapeless. They are unformed mass of disjointed thoughts. My thoughts are akin to liquid that would take shape the moment it would assume a container. They assume shape the moment somebody gives them meaning. They gain strength from the value people give them. I utter words for the sake of expression. To let go of bottled thoughts that clutters my brain. To unleash toxins lest they poison my soul. To set myself free of the broken parts so I could heal. I speak to the wind to scatter these words to oblivion. Or I sometimes wish the wind would carry it someplace where these words might matter. Maybe this blog is no longer the place for the kind of release I wanted. I can’t control people’s reaction but I never ever meant to hurt anyone… but someone did. And it pains me more than I thought that I offended someone. People’s feeling far outweighs my need for expression thus I take back those words. If only I could also take back the hurt with the very words that caused it in the first place.
I am sorry stranger.